Roe Vs. Wade Overturned In Response to Impassioned YouTube Comment

WASHINGTON - In a 5-4 vote Thursday, The United States Supreme Court repealed its landmark 1973 decision to disallow restrictions on state and federal abortion measures after reading impassioned comments left by YouTube user Nicki23. Despite decades of pressure from right-wing pro-life groups, the court was only today moved into action, citing the largely under-sourced 112-word retort, in which a 19-year-old resident of Little Rock, Arkansas insisted emphatically that "a baby can feel pain u know and in my opinion we shud not kill babies. its bad." The decision comes after the 2010 Health Care Act was also repealed last month, following an internet meme that did the rounds on Facebook.

Desperate Baby Opts to Abort Unwanted Parents

NOBLESVILLE - After almost 4 months inside the womb of his mother Madeleine, a desperate unborn fetus today declared his intention to abort both unwanted parents in a swift operation immediately after he is born. 

Baby P, who is now at the end of the first trimester, told the Tribune that he has explored other avenues - such as having Marsha and father Nick adopted out to other babies - but came to the conclusion that parental abortion was the "best option for all parties". 

"This was probably the hardest decision I've ever had to make", said Baby P. "But I just didn't plan to have parents at this stage of my life. I'm simply not ready yet". He continued: "Bringing parents into this world requires a huge amount of responsibility and I don't think I'm capable of fulfilling the demanding duties of being a son at this time."

Certain pro-choice groups have welcomed the decision. The Foundation for Independent Babies applauded Baby P for taking such brave steps in the face of growing pressure to keep his parents. However, local pro-life advocates today protested Baby P's decision, with chants of "a parent can feel" ringing out during a small demonstration outside the family's home. 

One activist told the Tribune: "What Baby P is choosing to do is immoral. It doesn't matter if his parents are still in the early mental development stages: they still have the right to choose whether they get to destroy this baby's future or not."

Image credit: Flickr. latedda. Creative Commons.