Roe Vs. Wade Overturned In Response to Impassioned YouTube Comment

WASHINGTON - In a 5-4 vote Thursday, The United States Supreme Court repealed its landmark 1973 decision to disallow restrictions on state and federal abortion measures after reading impassioned comments left by YouTube user Nicki23. Despite decades of pressure from right-wing pro-life groups, the court was only today moved into action, citing the largely under-sourced 112-word retort, in which a 19-year-old resident of Little Rock, Arkansas insisted emphatically that "a baby can feel pain u know and in my opinion we shud not kill babies. its bad." The decision comes after the 2010 Health Care Act was also repealed last month, following an internet meme that did the rounds on Facebook.

6 People Who Disliked YouTube Video Completely Hurt By Fellow User's Witty Retort

INDIANAPOLIS - It was reported Sunday that 6 YouTube users who disliked a fan video of Bob Dylan's 1973 hit Knockin' on Heaven's Door have been left devastated after another user - DinoP1985 - insisted that those "6 people are knocking on Hell's door."

Upon watching the 3-minute video, user Ragethomas1 says he didn't think his disdain for the song would become apparent to anyone other than himself. However, just two months later on December 3rd, DinoP1985's damning indictment against not only Ragethomas1, but five other users, allegedly reduced the user to tears.   

"It was just awful," Ragethomas1 wrote on his Facebook wall. "All I did was dislike a freaking song. No need to make me feel like a piece of shit just because we don't share the same taste in music."

"I mean, who the fuck does DinoP1985 think he is? This has made me so unbelievably mad!"

In addition to DinoP1985's cruel comment, several other users are said to have weighed in with spiteful replies such as "6 people like Justin Bieber" and "6 people don't know great music when they hear it."

However, in an effort to gain some measure of revenge, one of the victims of the attack - user MagicMouse2011 - eloquently insisted that "DinoP1985, your a fukin cunt an you dont know noffink about musik."

Image credit: Flickr. Marco Raaphorst. Creative commons.

Abnormal Kid Types Grammatically Coherent YouTube Comment

CASTLETON - Writing under his profile name Almanac_62, abnormal local kid Andrew Callaghan today responded to a popular YouTube video by incorporating recognizable grammatical forms and correct spelling into his post.

Commenting on a video excerpt from the cartoon Family Guy, the 16-year-old is believed to have taken the bizarre step of correctly spelling the words "definitely" and "genius," as well as inserting outdated forms of punctuation such as commas and apostrophes into his 64-word comment.

Such was the unusual clarity of his review that several other YouTube members were quick to put the teenager in his place with helpful and advisory responses such as "i h0pe ur mom fukz u up ur a$$hol u fukin jrkfaec" and "stop tallkin sht bout stuff u dum basterd."

In addition to the cringe-worthy syntactical accuracy of his writing, Callaghan appeared guilty of using polysyllabic words such as "indoctrination", "retrospective" and "decriminalization" to get his points across, and left thousands of readers bewildered when he made accurate use of a character known as the "question mark" at the end of a concluding interrogative sentence.

According to user fukbomb77, however, Callaghan has not responded to comments on the site ever since he was constructively advised to 'STP REEDIN DA FUKIN DICTONARY ALL DA TIME AN GET A FUKIN L1FE!!!'

Image credit: Fair use.