tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83878802383802660872024-03-05T18:07:03.244-05:00The Indy TribuneNews and satire from The Indy Tribune | Media and publishing based in Indianapolis, Indiana. An office-less paper.Laurence Brownhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12273049523024052213noreply@blogger.comBlogger89125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-56832762585194701452013-02-22T00:00:00.001-05:002013-03-05T23:44:01.245-05:00Obituary - Rebecca MarloweRebecca Marlowe, 38, died February 19 at her Indianapolis home. Marlowe, who was a sheet metal tech at Hawker Beechcraft and was not in any way famous for a modeling career, was found with a gunshot wound when police responded to a 911 call placed by her boyfriend, Joshua Phillips, 40. She was pronounced dead at the scene. Phillips, who has all of his limbs and is not in any way famous as an Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-46340431982661058422013-02-22T00:00:00.000-05:002013-02-22T00:23:27.169-05:00Obituary - Brooklynne PalmerBrooklynne Palmer, 19, died January 12 in Noblesville. Palmer, who was home for the weekend from her freshman year at Purdue University, had spent the day reconnecting with her high school best friend Mackenzie Waller. "We'd been at Hamilton Town Center Mall, like, all day," said Waller. "We were having such a good time. We were just talking and catching up and shopping, shopping, and more Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-5473478639317992013-02-18T18:00:00.000-05:002013-02-18T19:07:12.706-05:00Obituary - Viktor PolichenkoViktor I. Polichenko of Indianapolis, 55, was killed February 15 while visiting family in Chelyabinsk, Russia. Polichenko had moved from the central Russian city to Indianapolis in 1983. Here he met and married his wife, Brownsburg native Natalie Walters Polichenko, who survives him along with their two sons Anatoli ("Tony"), 23, and Viktor Jr., 19. Mr. and Mrs. Polichenko had traveled to Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-31898124099906397792013-02-14T19:30:00.000-05:002013-02-14T19:58:03.807-05:00Obituary - That Aunt You Never LikedThat Aunt You Never Liked, 87, died January 14 at The Hearth at Windermere Senior Living Community in Fishers. Or was it Hamilton Trace? It's hard to remember; you really haven't cared until it came up just now. With her constant stream of snide comments directed at your mother, her decades of Christmas gifts to you based around a theme that interested you briefly when you were seven, her Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-44499066557694195912013-02-13T18:00:00.000-05:002013-02-13T18:24:44.586-05:00Obituary - Emmet LandisNote: The concept and most of the content for today's obituary were submitted by a reader. Remember: if you have died, or if you know of a humorous death (fake deaths only, please -- I don't want to be responsible for a spate of tragic, but hilarious, homicides), you can write to The Obituarist at obituaries@theindytribune.com.
Emmet Landis, 36, a fifth grade English teacher at Crooked Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-68724243358555928072013-01-17T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-17T23:59:00.489-05:00Obituary - Michael BayNoted film director and producer Michael Bay, 47, died January 12 in his Los Angeles home. Bay, whose films include Bad Boys I & II, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor, the Transformers franchise, and other beloved modern classics of American cinema, reportedly died quietly in his sleep. Every identifiable shred of Bay's body was not obliterated by thunderous explosions that did not send colossal Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-6250154636787404062013-01-14T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-14T23:59:00.285-05:00Obituary - Roger BolensRoger Bolens of Indianapolis, 46, died January 11 at Methodist Hospital. Bolens, who was eleven days into his ninth consecutive new year's resolution to get healthy, died of massive organ failure a day after collapsing during a workout. Working with his friend Dave Collins, who holds no professional credentials but by his own estimation "is pretty ripped and totally knows personal training," Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-27370199297354015622013-01-13T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-14T00:36:36.089-05:00Obituary - Audrey CamposAudrey Campos, 45, died January 6 in her Indianapolis home. Ms. Campos, known among her friends for her disdain of forwarded emails and viral Facebook posts, died when she suddenly became ill from a variety of deadly and fast-acting pathogens that had been drawn into the previously-cut onion that she sliced onto her lunch sandwich. The Marion County Coroner's office reports that her system was Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-10819316505248925022013-01-09T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-10T00:46:01.795-05:00Obituary - Everyone Outside the Room You're InEveryone Outside the Room You're In, various ages, just dropped dead just now. Don't look - it's too horrific. Whether because of some government super-virus experiment gone horribly wrong, or some alien death ray, or something completely other, Everyone Outside the Room You're In is now dead. They all just collapsed right where they stood, just a second ago. So I hope you're in a room with Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-45900568853319970882013-01-08T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-08T23:59:00.028-05:00Obituary - Hezekiah BishopHezekiah Jacob Bishop, 21, died November 22, 1812 along Wildcat Creek, near Lafayette. Bishop, a member of the Indiana Rangers, was taking part in the Second Tippecanoe Campaign when his party was ambushed in a narrow canyon. Survivor testimony indicated that Bishop's rifle had misfired at a crucial moment, and an onrushing Shawnee warrior was able to stab Bishop in the heart. Letters from BishopDoug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-56696165736245350992013-01-07T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-07T23:59:00.567-05:00Obituary - Mr. GobblepantsMr. Gobblepants, the turkey poult that Mike Baxter of Indianapolis thought would be a great Thanksgiving gift for his kids, died January 5 in the old-bath-rug-padded cardboard box Baxter had set up in his backyard. At fifteen weeks old, Mr. Gobblepants was nearing maturity and would have been just about ready to move from a grower feed to a finisher feed--if Baxter had the slightest idea how to Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-9469430245729345072013-01-06T23:59:00.000-05:002013-01-06T23:59:00.307-05:00Obituary - Lauren StoddardLauren G. Stoddard, 32, died January 6 in Indianapolis in an automobile accident. Ms. Stoddard was traveling east on I-465 on the north side of the city at 9:14 on Friday morning when her car drifted out of her lane, struck the side of a semi trailer, and careened across two lanes of traffic before flying off the road and down the embankment near the Keystone Avenue interchange. Investigators Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-58895606983611136582012-12-03T23:59:00.000-05:002012-12-04T12:34:47.890-05:00Obituary - Marlin YoderMarlin T. Yoder, 56, died November 13 in the parking lot of his employer, Atlas Logistics, Inc. Yoder, a 23-year veteran of the company, committed suicide by setting himself ablaze as horrified co-workers watched through the windows. Several employees rushed out to douse the flames with blankets and fire extinguishers as others called 911, but Yoder was pronounced dead at the scene. According to Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-50386672554500249492012-12-02T23:59:00.000-05:002012-12-03T14:29:53.643-05:00Obituary - That Girl You Had That Crush On In High SchoolThat Girl You Had That Crush On In High School, approximately your age, died November 12 at her home in The City She Moved To Which Is Why You Haven't Seen Her In So Long. Known for being far too stunningly, mind-numbingly beautiful to allow you to concentrate on Mr. Jenkins' third period world history class and for whispering snide comments about Mr. Jenkins' ties in the most honey-toned voice Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-29974805838852068702012-11-15T23:59:00.000-05:002012-11-16T16:00:52.463-05:00Obituary - Steven SinofskySteven Sinofsky, 47, died November 12 in Seattle, WA. Sinofsky had just announced his sudden resignation as Windows president for Microsoft Corporation, mere weeks after the release of the company's Windows 8 operating system and amid less than spectacular sales of the new Surface tablet. Following the announcement, Sinofsky had left the company headquarters in Redmond, WA to spend a few days in Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-32665328867220310382012-11-13T00:00:00.000-05:002012-11-13T01:24:29.738-05:00Obituary - Henry JacobsHenry D. Jacobs, 78, died November 10 at Community North Hospital after a protracted battle with lung cancer and emphysema. Jacobs, who spent his entire career as a plumber before retiring in 2004, is survived by his wife Martha Jacobs, two children--Lauren Jacobs-Lewis of Hattiesburg, VA and Raymond Jacobs of Memphis, TN--and seven grandchildren. Services are pending. A spokesperson from Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-43033521478875184892012-11-11T23:59:00.000-05:002012-11-12T15:54:07.999-05:00Obituary - Susan JeffrasSusan D. Jeffras, 48, died November 7 at Community East Hospital. Jeffras had arrived home from work on Wednesday evening to find that her son Brandon, 16, had cleaned his room, taken out the garbage, prepared dinner, and completed two loads of laundry--including putting the folded laundry away--all without being asked. "I showed her all of that, and she just gasped and clutched at her chest and Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-9040513957793906192012-11-09T23:59:00.000-05:002012-11-09T23:59:00.212-05:00Obituary - The 2012 Political Advertisement SeasonThe 2012 Political Advertisement Season, 2, died November 6 across the US. Season, who reached the end of its pre-determined life span on Tuesday, had become more bloated, more ubiquitous, and more choked with noxious bile--and with cash--than any of its ancestors. No memorial is scheduled, because there seems to be no one who isn't relieved, even overjoyed, at Season's demise. However, Season Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-61213777598626865932012-11-09T00:00:00.000-05:002012-11-09T13:59:06.287-05:00Obituary - Runs with AcornsRuns with Acorns, 8, an Eastern Fox Squirrel, died November 5 in Indianapolis. Runs with Acorns, renowned among the squirrel population in his Fountain Square neighborhood for his bravery and thrill-seeking, was struck by a car as he ran across Laurel Street. Neighboring squirrel Flinches at Birds commented "Don't eat me! Don't eat me!" Coaxed from the tree into which he had fled, Flinches at Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-82400674400147905062012-11-06T17:11:00.000-05:002012-11-06T17:11:56.667-05:00Obituary - Jerry Coburn and Frank SchweitzerJerry Coburn, 53, and Frank Schweitzer, 57, died November 3 on the sidewalk in front of their neighboring Meridian-Kessler homes. Neighbors reported that the two men got into a dispute as Coburn attempted to place a yard sign supporting Republican gubernatorial candidate Mike Pence and Schweitzer attempted to place a yard sign supporting Democratic gubernatorial candidate John Gregg. The Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-34996400176239845942012-11-04T23:59:00.000-05:002012-11-04T23:59:00.340-05:00Obituary - Something Inside YouSomething Inside You, age unknown, died October 30 in its home somewhere in the forgotten recesses of your psyche. Faced with the unending drudgery of your existence, Something Inside You took its own life. Was it your youthful exuberance? Your sense of wonder at life's simple pleasures? Your career ambitions? You aren't quite sure. You do notice, however, that since the death of Something InsideDoug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-32696535641083237912012-11-01T23:59:00.000-04:002012-11-02T14:14:19.825-04:00Obituary - Matthew FoxMatthew D. Fox, 45, died October 30 in Indianapolis, making him the only fatality related to Hurricane Sandy to take place in Indiana. Fox, an amateur weather enthusiast, stayed home to ride out the moderate wind and light rain the massive storm pushed through our area, even as many Hoosiers left their homes behind to go to work and otherwise attend to their daily routines. "He'd always wanted toDoug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-28966517316219460942012-10-30T23:59:00.000-04:002012-10-31T14:03:55.037-04:00Obituary - Daniel WaltersDaniel P. Walters, 10, died October 29 at Riley Hospital. As a ceremonial opening of Colts quarterback Andrew Luck's new partnership with the hospital, Walters' doctors encouraged Luck to perform the youth's kidney transplant surgery. When Luck cut Walters' ureter with a large novelty scalpel before the assembled press and dignitaries, the boy went into cardiac arrest from which Luck was unable Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-81818867344472237022012-10-29T23:59:00.000-04:002012-10-29T23:59:00.708-04:00Obituary - Joseph SchusterJoseph Schuster, 58, died October 27 when the "Pumpkin Man" mask he wore to the Halloween party he was hosting proved to be a bit too convincing for a group of neighborhood children led by Scotty Miller, 11. The frightened children attacked Schuster with anything they could find, until Miller concluded that the only way to defeat the "Pumpkin Man" was to sever its head with the chain saw that Doug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8387880238380266087.post-3348332199262898122012-10-28T23:59:00.000-04:002012-10-28T23:59:00.429-04:00Obituary - Mary Alice WatkinsToday's obituary was written by 13 year old Brandon Norris of Ms. Rice's Journalism Club at Carmel Middle School, as part of our esteemed obituarist's educational program, "Yu Tu Can Obitu."
Mary Alice Watkins who was like 98 died on October 25 at Hamilton Trace Retirement Home in Fishers where she stopped being alive. I was going to ask what she died of but this reporter told myself that it wasDoug Powershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04496868226619492464noreply@blogger.com