Local Man Not Being Racist, But

ANDERSON - Attempting to deflect any potential accusations that you might subsequently have, Indiana man Adam Herzberger insists that he is not being racist or anything, but.

Image credit: Flickr. iamelliotjames. Creative Commons.

Evidently about to reveal a hitherto undisclosed opinion about the African American residents living on the city's east side, the 21-year-old Anderson native just wants to make it clear to you that, honest to God, he has nothing against black people, it's just... you know?

Going as far as to state that some of his closest high school friends were, in fact, black, Herzberger reiterates that, even though he owns an awesome collection of late nineties Samuel L. Jackson movies, those African Americans down town are kind of... you know what he's saying?

Seemingly of the belief that what he is about to say is totally going to be okay with you, Herzberger nevertheless admits that Dr. Martin Luther King and all of those guys behind the civil rights movement were, like, totally awesome. This notwithstanding, that one family that lives on Dalton Street - you know, the house with the broken windows and the lopsided shed? They're, like... you get his point, right?

While you politely nod and smile, Herzberger proceeds to insist that while blacks have never really given him any trouble or anything like that, there is obviously a correlation between Anderson's crime rate and... he's just saying.