Green Clothes, Complexions Set to Mark St. Patrick's Day

INDIANAPOLIS - In what will undoubtedly prove a night of unabashed partying, revelers across the city are set to mark St Patrick's day by wearing a combination of green clothes and the subsequent green complexion that 8 pints of Guinness is known to produce.

Following a parade in the city of Indianapolis yesterday, sales of green wristbands, hats and novelty leprechaun shoes increased vastly, while liquor - which has a known history of slowly altering the facial coloration of its users to a shade not altogether dissimilar to that of a shamrock - has sold at an increased rate of 209% over the weekend..

"Everyone's just looking forward to having a really good time," said Carrie Upton - bar manager at The Claddagh, an authentic Irish bar in downtown Indianapolis. "If past years are anything to go by, you're going to see green buttons, green t-shirts and, yes, plenty of sickly green faces by the time this night is done."

Some of the harder drinkers among the revelry are expected to display an all-over green appearance by lunch time, while inexperienced drinkers could cause a record number of toilets, sidewalks and back alley ways to take on a greener appearance than previously seen.