LAFAYETTE - Having not updated her information, images or layout since June, 2008, local woman Hannah Kirman today logged into her MySpace profile for old times' sake.
During a night of utter procrastination, Miss Kirman vicariously navigated her way to the social networking site after conducting a rudimentary search for her name in Google.
"I'd forgotten all about MySpace," she said, attempting to remember her login details. "I wonder if my profile still exists."
After taking two minutes to reset her password, the 26-year-old signed into her largely unaltered page. "Wow, this is really sad," she said, casting her eyes over her latest blog entry, dated November 19th, 2007. "Did I really post intimate details of my break-up with Andrew on here? That's really creepy. I think that's being deleted."
Scrolling down to her "Interests" Miss Kirman was startled by the opening bars of Metallica's The Memory Remains, which had spent the last 2 years "adding character" to her page, and frustratingly slowing down its loading times.
"Argh! I can't believe I used to like this song," she said, promptly hitting the pause button. "I hope my workmates don't find this."
Following the painstakingly slow process of scrolling down past the high resolution leopard print background, Miss Kirman finally found her message board.
"How did all this porn get on here?" she said, cycling up and down her Stream. "And who the hell is Maxxx69? I think I'd better close down my account."
MySpace Profile Logged Into for Old Times' Sake
Image credit: Marco Gomes. Creative commons.