Obituary - Matthew Fox

Matthew D. Fox, 45, died October 30 in Indianapolis, making him the only fatality related to Hurricane Sandy to take place in Indiana. Fox, an amateur weather enthusiast, stayed home to ride out the moderate wind and light rain the massive storm pushed through our area, even as many Hoosiers left their homes behind to go to work and otherwise attend to their daily routines. "He'd always wanted to go through a big storm like that," reported Fox's widow Margaret, 43. "But he hated to travel. So when he heard about how big this storm was, he thought maybe this was his chance. He boarded up our windows and stockpiled supplies. He sent the kids and me to my mother's in Colorado. He was so excited. When he saw how little we were getting, though, he called me to tell me that he was going to go down to the White River to watch the storm surge come in." Police suspect that Fox may have become dismayed at the lack of any appreciable flooding, gotten too close to the bank, and fallen into the river. The slow-moving, non-swollen river carried Fox's body only a short distance before washing it ashore, where police struggled against the mild annoyance of stiff breezes and chilly drizzle to recover it.

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Republican Whose Home Destroyed by Hurricane Sandy Reluctantly Accepts Government Handouts

STAMFORD, CT - In the aftermath of one of the worst storms to batter the East Coast of the United States in recorded history, a Republican man whose lakeside house was left with almost $1.7-million-worth of damage at the hands of Hurricane Sandy reluctantly accepted government handouts Tuesday, as FEMA moved to assist those in need.

Despite routinely criticizing the Obama Administration for its perceived expansion of entitlement programs, longtime GOP supporter, James Winkler of Stamford Connecticut, held his head in his hands today, and conceded: "okay, just this once."

"Even though I firmly believe it is inherently wrong for the people of this great nation to depend on government for any kind of benefit or financial relief," he said, "my home and everything that I hold dear has been taken away from me."

"That is why I will begrudgingly accept a little bit of help from FEMA. Just a little bit. One time only."

In an effort to be clear, the 57-year-old insisted, that just because he was willing to make an exception this time around, doesn't mean that his staunch opposition to programs such as social security, medicare and unemployment insurance would not "remain as strong as ever."

"Look, just because an exceptional circumstance has arisen, whereby I have ultimately been rendered penniless, does not mean that the people should have to become dependent on government."

"The government should rely on its people, not the other way around," he continued, staring defeated at his flooded house. "Only on occasions like this - when all is lost, when a person cannot help themselves - is it okay for government to intervene."

Meanwhile, it is understood that Mr. Winkler diffidently offered his gratitude to the government-employed firemen who rescued him from the second floor of his house late last night.

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Report: Hard To Tell If Brooklyn Battered By Hurricane

NEW YORK CITY, NY - According to hundreds of eye-witnesses in New York Monday, the borough of Brooklyn "may or may not" have been affected by the onslaught of Hurricane Sandy, with one onlooker insisting: "it's honestly hard to tell". Though it would appear that the area has been devastated by widespread flooding, people on the ground said that the destruction being seen in places such as Lower Manhattan was "perfectly normal" in places like Bushwick and Bed-Stuy. Surveying the perceived damage in Brownsville, Brooklyn, a confused New York Governor Andrew Cuomo reportedly turned to advisers and asked: "does Brooklyn always look this awful? Why haven't we done anything about this mess before now?"

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