Woman Nevertheless Tells Cat a Second Time

INDIANAPOLIS - Though she had previously vowed not to, Indianapolis woman and human overlord Jane Gunther conceded defeat Sunday, after telling her cat Vinny to "stop scratching on the side of that damn sofa" for what was a second time.

Despite sternly advising the 2-year-old feline that she (Gunther) was "not going to say it again", 22-year-old Miss Gunther proceeded to scold Vinny for the very same offense some two minutes later.

"Right, you're really going to get it this time, Mr. Vinny," said Gunther, not for the first time. "This is the very last time I'm going to say this - stop biting into those polyester cushions!"

At press time, Vinny is believed to be playing innocently with a toy mouse, though if past habits are anything to go by, the "little devil will be right back to that upholstery before you know it".