Local Man's Inner Child Cannot Stop Pissing the Bed

The Editor | Wednesday, June 27, 2012 | | | Best Blogger Tips

FORT WAYNE -  Freeing himself from the shackles of adult life and unveiling a hidden inner child hitherto forgotten, local man Ben Gatting - an operations manager from Fort Wayne - just cannot stop pissing the bed.

Insisting that he has tried everything to combat the problem - including having his inner child sleep with the light on and drink fewer fluids before bedtime - an embarrassed Mr Gatting invariably wakes up drenched in a pool of his own urine.

"I've been in touch with my inner child for about a year now," said the 27-year-old, within earshot of his inner 4-year-old. "Occasionally I'll break out the old skateboard or play Mario Brothers or whatever.     But the truth is I just cannot seem to stop peeing all over my bed sheets. I understand that it's something that most inner children have to go through, but without a support system, it's very tough."

Gatting says that the child in him has benefited somewhat from the addition of rubber bed sheets, but he remains concerned that a sleepover party with some of his friends' inner children Saturday could present a problem.

"So far, we've managed to keep the whole bed-wetting thing a secret between my inner child and I," he continued. "But what about when we have a slumber party? The guys are bound to find out. I just feel so bad for that poor infant, whose carefree lifestyle I am playing out on a daily basis."

Meanwhile, despite constantly being told that it would be bad for his health in the long run, Mr Gatting's inner child keeps begging his older self for some extra cookies.

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