Republicans Still Divided on which Candidate Best Equipped to Lose to Obama at Election

WASHINGTON - According to a Zogby poll, conservative voters across the nation are still heavily divided over which Republican Party candidate is the most qualified to take on, and ultimately lose to, incumbent president, Barack Obama.

Despite gains in Michigan, Arizona and most recently Wyoming, former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney has struggled to convince the nation's social conservative base that he is the right man to win the party's nomination for an inevitably catastrophic bid for the White House.

Image credit: Gage Skidmore/Jessica Rinaldi. CC.

However, following his victory in Wyoming, the 64-year-old insisted that "voters are more likely to not elect me to the presidency than any other candidate in this race."

"I mean, think about," he said, before hundreds of his supporters. "I'm a filthy rich businessman with no discernible connection to middle America, I have consistently flip-flopped on many of the key issues facing this country and I am a Mormon. I am totally unelectable."

"I am the right man to lose in a landslide to the president," he continued.

Despite Romney's increasing delegate count, however, there has been a resurgent number of voters backing former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum in recent weeks. Some believe that Santorum's strong stance against same-sex marriage and over-the-counter contraception, as well as inexplicable opposition to further education make him a prime candidate to win his party's nomination and suffer a humiliating defeat in the November election.

"Nobody is more of an electoral liability than Rick Santorum," said ardent Santorum supporter, Janice Nichols. "Since the turn of the year, he has systematically alienated virtually every voter in the country, he has relatively little experience of balancing a budget and he's... well he's an insufferable prick. That's why he gets my vote."

As the economy continues to show steady improvement under Obama's leadership and unpopular wars in the Middle East draw to a close, Republicans are "working around the clock" to select a candidate incapable of connecting with the American electorate.

"I wouldn't rule out Gingrich, just yet," said life-long Republican Joe Ketsbia. "After all, he doesn't stand a chance."