Racist Old Guy Nevertheless Such a Character

DANVILLE - Despite routinely offering up profoundly racist observations and politically incorrect witticisms, Danville senior citizen William B. Livermore is - according to loving members of his immediate family - one of life's characters.

Recalling that one time when her 84-year-old father fell asleep in the front room wearing only his boxers, Livermore's daughter Megan, 49, praised his "goofy sense of humor" and said that occasional derogatory references to the African American community were "just part of who he is."

"There's no one else quite like papa," she said, laughing off what would otherwise be perceived as a horribly insensitive joke about the assassination of Martin Luther King. "He's just a real quirky guy, is my daddy."

Widely adored across family lines for his unwitting bouts of flatulence during family gatherings, Livermore, who firmly believes that American values have irreversibly corroded in the wake of desegregation, reportedly pulls some of the funniest faces you've ever seen.

"Everyone loves Grandpa." said Livermore's eldest grandson Brian, as the old man sang a wholly taboo version of Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe in the background. "He's always doing something totally outrageous, like putting his sweater on back-to-front."

Meanwhile, according to Livermore's sister Sheila, the 84-year-old Korean War veteran is capable of "coming out with some of the funniest doggone stuff known to man" - even if that stuff involves mean-spirited banter about former civil rights activist Rosa Parks.

"He doesn't mean nothing by it," she said, giggling as her brother commenced with the traditional motion of removing his false teeth during dessert. "It's just the Alzheimer's taking its toll."      

Image credit:  Fair use.