Local Man Still Not Sure Whether Appropriate to Say 'Fuck' Around In-Laws

Laurence Brown | Sunday, October 16, 2011 | | | | Best Blogger Tips

PLYMOUTH - Despite marrying his long-term girlfriend Amanda over six months ago, Plymouth resident Calvin Dembry is still unsure whether or not it is acceptable for him to use the word "fuck" around his in-laws.

"They're both pretty liberal people, but it's difficult to tell whether they would be okay with me dropping the f-bomb during conversation," he said. "There have been moments when it kind of seemed appropriate - like during the Colts' opening game when Mike (Amanda's dad) was swearing like crazy at the TV - but, eh, I just don't know."

Dembry, 42, recently summoned up the courage to utter softer cuss words, such as 'damn' and 'bastard', which didn't seem to cause "too much of an issue."

"Some words just naturally come out when you're speaking," he continued. "I accidentally said the word "hell" once and they were apparently down with that. I just wonder how open they would be to phrases such as 'shithead' and 'cunt-flaps.'"

Dembry insists he was further tempted to introduce an expletive into the dynamics of the cross-family relationship when he and his in-laws sat down for a game of Scrabble this past weekend.

"It was the perfect opportunity. I had the letters R, K, F, S, U, C, E and the word "mother" was already perfectly placed on the board. I almost did it, but something inside of me said "they might not be cool with this". I went with "sucker" for 12 points."

Dembry has vowed to end the tension once and for all this coming Friday by strategically inserting the phrase "fucking retards" into a conversation about the Republican Party Presidential nominees.

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