Michael Joyner - a certified public accountant of 11 years - was instantly dismissed by J.N Holbrook Ltd Monday when it was discovered that he had abused sections 1.0.2 and 2.6.3 of the company's disclosure forms as well as Nancy from the first floor.
"Our company is very serious about enforcing appropriate procedures," said Holbrook chairman Dennis Grady. "It is our belief that Mr Joyner abused firstly; his position, by going against such procedures and secondly; our secretary, by going against her... well, her breasts."
It is believed that Mr Joyner will appeal Holbrook's swift decision, though security footage taken on January 18 would seem to confirm the view that Joyner had brazenly disregarded the company's rulebook, which clearly states that "sexual harassment is a reportable offense and, if found guilty of such offenses, will result in the termination of your contract."
Mr Joyner is also believed to have stolen several paperclips.
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