Bunch of Stuff Happens

INDIANAPOLIS - Following a period of relative inactivity, a load of stuff happened Friday, generating a great deal of buzz, excitement, fright, sadness, apathy and suspicion among the wide demographic of people who were, in some way, affected by it.

Causing a vast amount of chatter upon its occurrence, a bunch of shit just seemed to happen out of nowhere, prompting reactionary expressions such as "wow", "something's got to be done about this" and "that was so much fun."

Despite the fact that most people will likely soon forget the finer details of what in fact just went down, the things in question were literally being talked about by everyone Tuesday, as word of the stuff quickly spread.

"I just could not believe what I was hearing," said that one guy over there. "One minute I was just minding my own shit when, all of a sudden, some real crazy nonsense started kicking off way over there somewhere. It was certainly something."

Meanwhile, interest in the development is likely to wane once another, instantly accessible thing occurs sometime tomorrow.    

       

Snow Storm 'Set to Bury Hundreds of Other News Stories'

INDIANAPOLIS - Heavy snow fall is expected to batter much of the Midwest Thursday, spawning fears that it may wipe out hundreds of "otherwise highly relevant news stories."

Production teams are on standby in news rooms across the state of Indiana, as the heavy snow fall continues to bury stories that would - under any other circumstance - become prime time talking points on the nighttime news.

Early indications suggest that several emerging crime-related stories are thought to be missing as a result of the snow, while broadcasts pertaining to controversial smoking ban legislation were found buried on page 14 of the Indy Star this morning.

"It's really nasty out there," observed Channel 13 meteorologist Debra Caldwell. "Already, we've seen dozens of stories about the groundbreaking discovery of three earth-like planets inside our own galaxy reduced to a brief mention on the lunchtime news."

"Potential feature stories on the plight of the polar bear were also cast aside by the torrential onslaught of snow stories."

Meanwhile, a weather advisory has been issued, warning all pertinent news items to stay in doors until reports on the snow have cleared.   

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