State of Indiana Calls In Sick

INDIANAPOLIS - Insisting that it must have caught one of those overnight things that is going around, the entire state of Indiana called off work Monday, significantly affecting production across the Hoosier state.

Image credit: Flickr. Leonid Mamchenkov. Creative Commons

Even though the state's population didn't sound all that sick over the phone, thousands of companies were forced to just fill in best they could and "muddle through."

"Absenteeism has been abnormally high today," said general manager of Target's Indianapolis branch. "Apparently, a lot of people in Marion County have that one bug that's doing the rounds. Additionally, four of my workers have taken the day off because of a "family emergency," and might not be in until Wednesday."

"You have to work with what you've got, which, today, is just me."

Meanwhile, amid an unusually lengthy pollen season, millions of Hoosiers are expected to still be feeling "slightly under the weather come Tuesday, but, eh, we'll just have to see."