INDIANAPOLIS - Legislators from across Indiana have called an emergency meeting, amid fears that the state's economy could plummet following news that Indianapolis Colts star quarterback Peyton Manning has been released from the team.
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| Image credit: Barry Bahler. Creative Commons. |
Scrambling around to find a quick-fix solution to the impending fiscal crisis, Congressman Mike Pence told reporters that members of the Indiana General Assembly are quickly drawing up a shortlist of other viable quarterbacks, in the hopes of replacing Manning's obvious collateral draw.
"We've maintained an open dialogue with The Indianapolis Colts to iron out a draft pick that will keep the state's books balanced through the next decade," he said. "To that end, we hope to reach a decision in the next 48 hours."
Meanwhile, many observers believe that sales of Manning's famous number 18 shirt, Peyton Manning DVDs and game day tickets could see a sharp decline over the next six months, prompting fears that the state-wide economy could tank.
"When you consider the effect Peyton Manning has had on Indiana's gross domestic product, then one thing becomes very clear: we're in big trouble," said House Representative Terry Goodin. "Add to that the fact that our corn is drying out faster, then we could see the entire collapse of Indiana's economy within the next year."
"I'm not kidding," he concluded.
In an effort to curb a potential downturn, Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels has introduced a new "give back" initiative aimed at encouraging Hoosiers to "donate all of their Peyton stuff to the state", as plans get underway for the opening of The Peyton Manning Museum.
"We believe that an exhibition charting the history of Peyton Manning will help keep our economy strong in the long run," said the Governor this morning. "Just wait until you see the really neat gift shop."