Watching his offspring effortlessly navigate the site and its many thousand applications, Mr Mitchum made the decision to set up his own login details, ultimately forgetting his password within 23 minutes of establishing a profile.
"What is... why can't I login?", he said. "This thing is so confusing. I don't... ah, wait; there we go".
After logging into his profile at the eighth attempt, Mr Mitchum was confronted with the overbearing task of clicking on, and reading, a message posted to his wall by daughter Kathryn, 21.
"A message? Is this the same thing as an email? I'm absolutely lost", he said, knocking back a mug of coffee. "What ever happened to just sitting down and talking?"
Receiving guidance from his son Nick, 25, Mitchum was at least able to update his Facebook status. However, his frustration was exacerbated further when he accidentally shared the update mid-sentence.
"I'm not really sure what this status thing means, but apparently the four friends I added earlier are reading it as 'Michael Mitchum doesn't fully under...".
"I think I'm going to have to stick to writing letters", he continued.
Meanwhile, in a gesture of compassion, his offspring insisted that they are going to give their father a couple of days to rest before leading him through the rigors of understanding Twitter.
Image credit:fair use.