Dog Suddenly Becomes First Time Dad's Second Best Friend

INDIANAPOLIS - A once unbreakable friendship between local man Philip Ball and his pet Labrador Benji was severely tested Friday when the canine became the first time father's second best friend.

Following the birth of Mr Ball's healthy 7lb son Matthew Joseph late Sunday evening, Benji has done everything possible to catch the attention of his human overlord, who has been otherwise preoccupied with the family's new addition.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing in the world," Mr Ball told the 5-day-old baby, using a playful tone once reserved for his four-legged companion. "You're daddy's favorite, yes you are!"

Speaking to The Indy Tribune, meanwhile, Mr Ball insisted that the joy of parenthood has been such that both he and his wife have barely had time to notice Benji.

"Who?," asked a bewildered Mr Ball. "Oh, right, yeah; Benji. He's outside or something. Aw, I think baby wants to go pot-pot. You want to go pot-pot? Yes you do!"

Since little Matthew's birth, Mr Ball has replaced the once daily activity of playing fetch in the back yard with shaking rattles, changing diapers and decorating the baby room.

"Being a dad is the greatest thing in the world," said Mr Ball, laying Matthew down in his cot. "I get to relive my childhood all over again through Matthew's beautiful eyes. You can't really do that with a dog."

In a vain attempt to reclaim best friend status this morning, Benji was seen licking the right hand of his master, who was otherwise busy making faces at Matthew.

Image credit: fair use.

Local Dad Still Not Getting Facebook

CASTLETON - The concept, purpose and popularity of the social networking site, Facebook, is still reportedly lost on local father of three, Michael Mitchum, whose attempts to sign up to the site's services today left the 59-year-old in a total state of confusion. 

Watching his offspring effortlessly navigate the site and its many thousand applications, Mr Mitchum made the decision to set up his own login details, ultimately forgetting his password within 23 minutes of establishing a profile. 

"What is... why can't I login?", he said. "This thing is so confusing. I don't... ah, wait; there we go". 

After logging into his profile at the eighth attempt, Mr Mitchum was confronted with the overbearing task of clicking on, and reading, a message posted to his wall by daughter Kathryn, 21. 

"A message? Is this the same thing as an email? I'm absolutely lost", he said, knocking back a mug of coffee. "What ever happened to just sitting down and talking?" 

Receiving guidance from his son Nick, 25, Mitchum was at least able to update his Facebook status. However, his frustration was exacerbated further when he accidentally shared the update mid-sentence. 

"I'm not really sure what this status thing means, but apparently the four friends I added earlier are reading it as 'Michael Mitchum doesn't fully under...". 

"I think I'm going to have to stick to writing letters", he continued. 

Meanwhile, in a gesture of compassion, his offspring insisted that they are going to give their father a couple of days to rest before leading him through the rigors of understanding Twitter. 

Image credit:fair use.