WASHINGTON D.C. - Republicans in the House and Senate, along with the party's presidential candidates, are set to spend the entirety of Martin Luther King Jr. Day dishing out relentless criticism of a black man.
Insisting that the man in question - who is thought to be of Kenyan descent - has "gone to great lengths to bring about the downfall of the United States of America," presidential front-runner Mitt Romney said that the African-American individual "must be stopped in 2012."
"It is not acceptable for him to get away with this kind of irresponsibility any longer," said the former Massachusetts Governor, who has openly approved televised ads verbally attacking the black man. "The people of this great country demand better, and that is what I will give them."
On what is intended to be a day marking the birthday of Martin Luther King Jr., who led the civil rights movement of the 1960s and paved the way for racial equality throughout the land, presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich took a moment to pour derision on the black man's attempt at doing his job.
"Let's face it," said Gingrich - himself a longstanding vocal critic of the black man. "He is not being honest with the American people. Every day, he imposes his socialist agenda on this great nation in a way that makes Stalin look compassionate. He is dangerous and cannot be trusted."
Despite officially acknowledging the enormous adversity overcome by blacks in the last 50 years, House Speaker John Boehner vowed that the black man will be relieved of his job later this year, and that Republicans were unified in their efforts to oust him.
"I don't think it's any secret that we will do everything and anything to make sure he is removed from his position," he said. "Make no mistake, we're taking him down."
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