Most of Local Man's Afternoon Spent Pressing 9 for More Options

INDIANAPOLIS - Attempting to pay a past due balance on his cell phone bill Monday, Indianapolis resident Patrick Overton spent the better part of this afternoon, which could otherwise have been devoted to finally getting around to fixing that shed door or chilling with his best friend Michael, pressing 9 for more options.

In what he imagined would be nothing more than a two-minute phone conversation, the 36-year-old, who ordinarily makes his payments online, found himself making multiple calls to his phone provider WirelessPlus before he even advanced to the secondary menu options.

Seemingly going around in circles, Overton was prompted on multiple occasions to press 9, taking him to a further set of options that neither seemed to point him toward the billing department nor a live person of any kind.

"But, no, wait..." he said. "I already pressed that. Can't you just put me through to a freaking human being? Is it really so hard?"

After finally connecting to customer service representative Shamika, who enthusiastically inquired how she could be of assistance today, Overton was kept on hold for a further 40 minutes after disputing a series of premium text messaging charges.

Image credit: Flickr, rocketace

Guy Wondering Why Friend Even Bothers Having a Phone If He's Just Going to Have Facebook Switched off All The Time

INDIANAPOLIS - Failing to get ahold of best friend Jordan Cattermole Saturday, Indiana man Eric Miller is wondering why the 22-year-old even bothers carrying a phone around with him if he is just going to have Facebook turned off all the time.

Attempting to organize a last-minute meal at Applebee's, Miller insists he sent a private Facebook chat message to his elusive friend of 13 years three God damn hours ago, and for what?

"I just don't see why he pays almost ninety dollars a month for a phone if he's not even going to check his Facebook messages," said Mr. Miller. "I mean, isn't a phone kind of just plain redundant if the Facebook app is disabled? Man, it pisses me off."

Having also tried to contact Cattermole via email and the social networking site Twitter, Miller now just wishes that his friend would use his freaking phone for once and actually send back a typed response of some kind.

"I mean, even if he just poked me or liked a comment or two, I wouldn't mind so much," continued Miller. "But I'm pretty sure he just leaves all of the essential social media applications off most of the day. I don't know what his problem is, but he's damn hard to reach."

Miller says he is concerned that if his friend is unable to respond to basic messages on his phone, it could be a "huge problem" if ever there is a legitimate emergency and someone needs to get in touch with him via either SMS or a social media outlet.

Virtually ready to give up on tonight's plans, meanwhile, Miller was finally able to get through to Cattermole using an unconventional method of communication known as "calling".

Image credit: Flickr. andronicusmax. Creative Commons.

  

Terms and Conditions Skimmed Over, Accepted

KOKOMO - For the 10 billionth time since the advent of the website disclaimer, a set of terms and conditions were today lightly skimmed over and roundly accepted without so much as a moment's thought as to their contents.

Girl about to get educated.

Signing up to services provided by horoscopecraziness.com, Kokomo resident and grade 12 high school student Andrea Allthorpe impatiently clicked the 'I Agree' button without actually reading section 2.1.4, which clearly states that "by accepting the aforementioned terms and conditions, the member permits this website to send bi-monthly premium text messages to said member's mobile phone."

"It's such a cool website," smiled the naive 17-year-old, reading the week's entry for Scorpios. "Apparently events in my life are going take a curious turn this week, as Saturn aligns with Venus and an epic decision presents itself."

What the horoscope failed to predict was that a charge of $9.99 is imminently set to appear on her parents' family share plan statement, resulting in the youngster being banned from using her iPhone 4S for two months.

"I can't wait for next week's horoscope," she continued with a heartbreaking level of excitement. "Perhaps I'm about to come into some money or something!"

Utterly unaware of the irreparable damage she had just done to her parent's finances, Miss Allthorpe proceeded to unwittingly compound the situation further by navigating to freecoolringtones.com.