Abused Female Dog Welcomes Decision to Have Neighbor Neutered

In an emotional outpouring of relief Friday, a terrorized female dog welcomed the decision to neuter an 8-year-old male named Buster, after the abusive mutt was found guilty of sexual assault and inappropriate conduct.

The adorable little canine, known only as Betsy, reportedly wagged her tail with joy as the verdict was announced by Buster's long-suffering overlords, Timothy and Barbara Solbakken, in a swift act of justice this morning.

"Woof!," said an overjoyed Betsy in a brief statement outside her home today.

"Woof, woof!," she continued.

Meanwhile, Betsy's owner, Janice Daltry, insists that her beautiful 4-year-old dog is now just looking to get on with her life after what has been a "harrowing four months."

"We are so pleased that Mr. Buster was served the maximum sentence for his depraved acts," she said this morning. "Now my Betsy can finally run around the yard without having to live in fear of being raped."

"It's a great day."

Dog Suddenly Becomes First Time Dad's Second Best Friend

INDIANAPOLIS - A once unbreakable friendship between local man Philip Ball and his pet Labrador Benji was severely tested Friday when the canine became the first time father's second best friend.

Following the birth of Mr Ball's healthy 7lb son Matthew Joseph late Sunday evening, Benji has done everything possible to catch the attention of his human overlord, who has been otherwise preoccupied with the family's new addition.

"Aren't you just the cutest thing in the world," Mr Ball told the 5-day-old baby, using a playful tone once reserved for his four-legged companion. "You're daddy's favorite, yes you are!"

Speaking to The Indy Tribune, meanwhile, Mr Ball insisted that the joy of parenthood has been such that both he and his wife have barely had time to notice Benji.

"Who?," asked a bewildered Mr Ball. "Oh, right, yeah; Benji. He's outside or something. Aw, I think baby wants to go pot-pot. You want to go pot-pot? Yes you do!"

Since little Matthew's birth, Mr Ball has replaced the once daily activity of playing fetch in the back yard with shaking rattles, changing diapers and decorating the baby room.

"Being a dad is the greatest thing in the world," said Mr Ball, laying Matthew down in his cot. "I get to relive my childhood all over again through Matthew's beautiful eyes. You can't really do that with a dog."

In a vain attempt to reclaim best friend status this morning, Benji was seen licking the right hand of his master, who was otherwise busy making faces at Matthew.

Image credit: fair use.