Renowned actor, martial artist, pitchman, and conservative Christian author Carlos Ray “Chuck” Norris, 72, died September 6 at Grimes St. Joseph Health Center in Navasota, TX of an infected hangnail. Norris, whose “ultimate tough guy” image gave rise to the Internet phenomenon of “Chuck Norris Facts” (e.g., “Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door”), developed the hangnail September 3. Doctors were baffled. “Lots of people get infected hangnails,” said hospital spokesperson Dr. Mary Keene. “But for such infections to prove fatal is almost unheard of. And despite our best efforts, Mr. Norris succumbed remarkably quickly to this otherwise quite weak infection.” Shaking her head, Dr. Keene added, “It’s as if Chuck Norris put up no fight at all. No fight at all.”
