Mass Genocide in Syria Covered Up By The Olympics

NEW YORK, NY - According to various sources, a case of mass genocide in Syria - in which 3,000 people were slaughtered by pro-government forces Friday - was successfully covered up by the media's overwhelming coverage of the Olympic Games.

It is believed that hundreds of armed security guards, loyal to President Bashar al-Assad, took to the streets early Friday to halt a large-scale demonstration in Damascus, though sources in New York claim the resulting deaths were kept quiet by the adorable, televised presence of London 2012 mascots Wenlock and Mandeville.

"We have reasonable cause to believe that NBC, ESPN and possibly the BBC were complicit in a widescale cover-up, in which they used lies, deception and the enduring image of David Beckham holding aloft the torch of the Olympiad to mask the atrocities in Damascus," said New York Times journalist, Des Waters. "Obviously details of the bloodshed are difficult to determine at this time, such is the widespread media fascination with all things Olympics, but more will likely be known in the coming months."


Experts believe that information may be prized into the public domain once interest in the Olympics begins to wane. Historically, this has coincided with the introduction of weightlifting.

"Rest assured, there will be a thorough investigation into the tragic events in Syria," said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki Moon. "If looped footage of Michael Phelps waving at the crowd aided elements within the al-Assad regime, then we will seriously consider imposing sanctions on the television networks involved."
     
It is believed that past show-pieces may have been an accomplice to the Olympics live feed, with coverage of this year's Super Bowl being indicted for "discouraging a public, internet-driven discussion" into the ongoing turmoil in Syria.

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