Construction Work Begins on Interstate Construction Work

INDIANAPOLIS - Traffic was backed up for almost four miles on I-465 Tuesday, as wide-scale construction work - aimed at improving the existing construction work along the interstate heading in and out of Indianapolis - got underway.

The interstate - along with sections of Allisonville Road - are set to be "off-limits" for up to six weeks, while construction teams perform urgent maintenance on ground issues caused by their previous construction work.

"The interchange at Allisonville and I-465 will be completely cordoned off, while we tear up all of the changes we made eight months ago," said construction manager Charlie Hanff. "Basically, we're just... well we're just starting over."

As well as replacing a two-mile stretch of road, plans are underway to demolish a newly constructed overpass along I-69, after faulty construction rendered it what commuters have described as a "shitty little bridge."

Meanwhile, the construction construction is likely to be met with much criticism from drivers, who have had to endure years of road diversions and traffic delays, as highways leading into Indianapolis continue to be destroyed and re-built until workers are satisfied with their handy-work.

Road to Success Closed for Construction

Due to further initiatives from the office of Mayor Ballard, the road to success - an interstate linking life's frustrating years with one's potentially comfortable adult years - has closed to make way for more construction.

The road, which is used by thousands of ambitious commuters each day, is set to undergo "major repairs" over the next eighteen months, with plans to use the Road to Nowhere as a detour.

"We are looking at the long term effects that this will have on the city of Indianapolis," said Ballard. "It might be frustrating to have to take a longer route to places like Oh My God, I've Finally Made It, but two years from now, because of the work we are doing on the road, people will be able to get from A to B so much faster."

Residents, however, have not been quick to accept the proposals, with frequent commuter Mandy Leibowitz insisting that the measures are going to make it almost impossible for her to get to Fucking Hell, I'm a Professional Author Now.

"I've sent my book to hundreds of publishers," said the 31-year-old. "But every single publishing office is at the end of the Road to Success. I might as well resign myself to a future in accounting."

Meanwhile, many in the 35-50 demographic have insisted that the construction work doesn't effect them, since they stopped using the road years ago.

"The Middle of the Road is where I drive" said local man Brian Sharpe. "If they even think about digging that up, there'll be Hell to pay."