Obituary - Mr. Gobblepants

Doug Powers | Monday, January 07, 2013 | | Best Blogger Tips

Mr. Gobblepants, the turkey poult that Mike Baxter of Indianapolis thought would be a great Thanksgiving gift for his kids, died January 5 in the old-bath-rug-padded cardboard box Baxter had set up in his backyard. At fifteen weeks old, Mr. Gobblepants was nearing maturity and would have been just about ready to move from a grower feed to a finisher feed--if Baxter had the slightest idea how to properly feed a turkey. "I have discovered, though," reported Baxter, "that microwaved frozen corn niblets are apparently not a good option." Baxter continued, "He was so cute when I got him, and I remember thinking 'How hard could it be?" Well I guess it's harder than I thought, and he wasn't nearly as cute with his feathers falling out and all thin and lethargic like that." There was a brief service for Mr. Gobblepants on January 6, after which the Baxters buried him next to the garage near Floppy McEars, the rabbit Baxter bought his kids for Easter of 2012. At press time Ribbons, the Christmas hedgehog, was still clinging to life in his cage in the children's bedroom.


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