Disney Execs Barely Able to Resist Pitching 'Star Wars Episode VII: Enter The Hulk'

Laurence Brown | Wednesday, October 31, 2012 | | | | Best Blogger Tips

HOLLYWOOD, CA - Following Disney's $4.02bn acquisition of LucasFilm Tuesday, executives at the multi-billion dollar film company have barely managed to resist the temptation to pitch Star Wars Episode VII: Enter The Hulk as the title of the next Star Wars film.

Even though such a proposition would apparently cast aside long-held beliefs about the expanded Star Wars Universe, Disney - which also owns Marvel Inc. - was quick to note that the introduction of Bruce Banner and his angry, green alter-ego would be "too fucking awesome" to pass up.

"I mean let's just take stock of what we have here," said Disney stock holder Michael Lagruff. "We own Marvel and LucasFilm. In theory, Galactus could emerge in Episode VIII as the new planet-devouring Lord of the Sith. How mind-blowing would that be? Jedi Master Daredevil wouldn't stand a chance against him in a duel."

While no-one has expressly confirmed the Hulk's involvement in the beloved science fantasy saga, many in the Walt Disney Studios - including CEO and Chairman Bob Iger - reportedly lost sleep last night dreaming up scenarios in which the rage-induced Hulk takes down a TIE Fighter with his bare hands.

"And what if Han Solo were killed by the all-powerful Dr. Doom, spawning a second Battle of Endor between the rebels - led by Luke Skywalker and Captain America - and the Empire, now under the guidance of Magneto?," continued Lagruff.

"The box office sales would be through the roof."

Meanwhile, Disney today categorically denied widespread rumors that the new trilogy would see songstress Julie Andrews introduced as Queen Mary Poppins of Naboo.

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