ANDERSON - Insisting that the United States of America is crumbling beneath the very foundations upon which it stands, Indiana resident David Palenko was seen completely hammered in the bar again Friday. Clearly voicing disapproval of President Obama's fiscal policy as well as various contributing social factors, Palenko proceeded to knock back his eighth bottle of Samuel Adams - rendering the politically astute 47-year-old unconscious for the third night this week. "You can always count on David to solve the nation's problems after about six or seven drinks," contested manager of O'Brien's Irish Pub, Marcus Daly. "Perhaps after his liver fails, he'll start worrying about solving his own."
