INDIANAPOLIS - Indiana's forward-thinking and innovative Governor, Mitch Daniels, insists that, under his leadership, the state is gradually catching up to the demands of the 19th Century.
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| Mitch Daniels: one of the great legislative thinkers of 2 centuries ago Image credit: Trevor Kight. Creative commons. |
"Last year, I signed into law progressive new measures that would make it illegal for homosexuals to marry in the state of Indiana," said a beaming Daniels. "I believe that's where the question of marriage is at in the year 1842 and I'm proud to say we are up with the times."
Another social reform that some believe sets Daniels apart as one of the great legislative thinkers of two centuries ago is his staunch opposition to abortion - a sin that Governor Daniels insists has no place in a "young nation such as this one."
"The mother's welfare is of no consequence to me," said Daniels. "If we are to keep up with the social expectations of the 1800s, we have to do right by our church and by our faith in the almighty. By this way of thinking, we will withdraw state funding from any health practice that offers abortion services throughout the state. It's the right thing to do as we approach the blessed future that this century - the 19th of its kind - will bring."
During Daniels' tenure as governor - a position he has held for 7 years - he has also introduced progressive "right to work" legislation, effectively weakening the influence of workers unions to a degree that "one comes to expect in the early 19th Century."
"If we allow unions to have it their way, workers would have these things known as rights," he continued. "This kind of nonsense cannot be allowed to stand - not so long as I'm governor and the year is 1817. No sir, not on my watch."
Concluding his reflection on the matter, Daniels spoke proudly of the "hard work" he and his administration have endured to bring the state's roads, buildings and transportation resources into the Victorian Age.
"Just take a look at my record," he concluded. "I have consistently opposed the construction of an expansive electric train service through our state's capital. Why? Primarily because electricity hasn't been invented yet. After all, you can't have a light bulb if you don't have any light."