Local Man Can't Believe It Already October

INDIANAPOLIS - Local man Brent Deakins today expressed disbelief at the fact that October - a month he has experienced 26 times before - has come around again already.

Deakins - a stock broker from Indianapolis - sat down to work Monday, and was initially taken aback by the date on his computer monitor.

“Where the heck do the days go?” Deakins asked his nearest coworker, failing to acknowledge that only the customary 11 months have passed since October of last year. “It’ll be Christmas before we know it. Hell, it doesn’t seem two minutes since I was unwrapping last year’s presents. Has it really been ten months already?”

Even though all of the days this year have consisted of the standard 24 hours, Deakins has struggled to comprehend how September came and went so quickly, insisting that it “seems like it was yesterday that the kids were going back to school.”

“Wow, it doesn’t feel as if thirty whole days have passed since I took the family out on that fishing trip to southern Indiana,” he continued. “It's funny how time just comes and goes.”

Waxing philosophical, Deakins continued to remind colleagues of the seeming briefness of life, insisting that “we’ll all be old before we know it.”

“You come to work, you pay taxes, and then you die,” he joked. “I wish someone would work out a way to slow down time.”

Meanwhile, according to reports, the perceived pace with which the days have thus far gone is believed to be at odds with Deakins' daily insistence that “5 o’clock is taking forever to get here.”

Links