Speaking outside the court, former US President John Adams said he would be appealing the decision, insisting that the constitution had become legislatively unfit to be a mother.
"For the past six years, The Constitution has neglected America, causing my beautiful daughter incalculable psychological damage."
Founding Fathers Thomas Nelson Jr and William Floyd broke down outside the courts, as Benjamin Franklin addressed the assembled reporters: "We are extremely disappointed with today's decision", he said. "The court has approved almost total custody of my daughter to the constitution, who in my considered opinion has no interest in the welfare of America."
After 215 years of marriage and 27 separate amendments to their wedding vows, the couple announced their divorce in February 2010, citing irreconcilable differences.
The Constitution's long-suffering father, James Madison, told stunned reporters that he welcomed the decision and that his daughter was ready to "go home and rest" after a long court case.